I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like its ok and wait for my opportunity to destroy them
And sometimes there are things I want to say so badly to you… that I know I shouldn’t say, but there are words that are burning the back of my throat like I’ve swallowed a lit cigarette, there are words that are fighting to come out and soon I’m going to lose the fight and say these words. And I think things will be broken if I say these things, I think things will be all wrong.
I’m in love with you. I’m so stupidly, madly, absolutely wrongly in love with you and I don’t want to be. I know what love means. Falling for you means falling into the Grand Canyon without so much as a safety line, it means tumbling off the top of the Eiffel Tower without a helmet. I will be broken once I fall. I will not be me anymore.
I’ve run for so long from things like this. I’ve run for so long from boys like you. And the thing is, I don’t really want to run anymore, but that feeling, that bird inside my chest, beating, beating, beating its wings against my rib cage, it’s fighting for air, I’m fighting for air. I can’t breathe when you’re around. I can’t breathe when you aren’t around. I can’t stick around for this, but I want to. I want to. I want to stick around for you. I want to stick around with you.
It’s been a long strange week but you’re still here.
And that’s what counts.