brilliantbustedthoughts

Sometimes being a makeup artist is weird. I’m sitting at funeral home right now waiting on a consult to do a dearly departed’s final face.

What do you do when you suddendlyrealize that you have no friends? Even my sister bailed on me.

I get that it’s a Thursday night; I get that people have to work tomorrow (I do too.). I don’t understand why I show up to every stupid thing people ask me to go to and no one can show up to do the one thing I’ve asked anyone to do in a year.

You don’t have a migraine everytime I ask you to do something. You just don’t want to go. You aren’t going to be anymore or less tired for work tomorrow if you go out with me instead of your boyfriend. (Who is welcome to come along.) You just don’t want to go. YOU JUST DON’T WANT TO GO.

I’ll just stop asking altogether. It’ll probably be easier that way.

My life is so exciting that I’ve been doing laundry for almost 9 hours straight. Good times. Probably why I have so many friends.

I am running a 5k in August. I was supposed to be training for this starting like a month ago. Umm… I ran for like a week and then didn’t run anymore because it was cold. I ran the other day and fell. I think is a sign.

Sign or not, however, I am running a 5k in August. AND I NEED HELP! I’m looking for someone to jog with, and by jog, I mean run a block then walk like 4 because I’m fat and out of shape and can’t run very far yet.

I need a workout buddy. I need someone to hold me accountable for this!! Grrrrrr.

It’s Friday night at 9pm and I’m sitting at home in my bed with a laptop and an ipad, simultaneously watching Grey’s Anatomy on abc.com and blogging. I’m confused. Is this what being a grown up is like? Is this how everyone feels?

I always like people when I meet them. I like them, but it always goes away. It goes away and I feel like that’s not normal, like there’s something wrong with me, but I don’t know that there really is something wrong. Maybe I’m just supposed to be alone forever and that’s that.

I don’t know.

When I try to think about relationships, I get weirded out. I don’t want to share my space and share my time and do things with another person. I just want to be alone and be a recluse and be left alone and do what I want (nothing) and that’s not normal, is it? Everyone just jokes that I’m antisocial, but really?

FOB 5/17 2 tickets for sale

I have two tickets to the Fall Out Boy show on May 17 in Columbus, Ohio that I am looking to sell. Face value $100 for both. PM me if interested/with questions.

is it strange that your voice takes the past eight years away? i can close my eyes and it’s 2005 and things aren’t terrible or desperate. i can close my eyes and i haven’t screwed it up yet.

I have violin versions of my favorite songs by Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, and My Chemical Romance… if I ever get married, do you think these would be appropriate to play as preceremony music? I mean, I’m sure not too many people would get what the songs actually were, right? Right? I need an it’s okay, people. I’m going to do this.

it’s black outside my window tonight
not just dark,
Black.
it’s like the city turned itself off;
decided to catch some sleep tonight or something.

After we broke up
(there wasn’t a lot of breaking to do)
and a few years went by
and we hooked up again
and broke up again
I ran my mouth about you.

A lot.
Especially when I was drunk
or lonely
or it was a Thursday night.

I’d like to tell you that I’m sorry,
because I’m more than sure
that you know I said
you had a small penis
and that you really didn’t know
what to do with it.
And you’ve probably heard
that I said kissing you was awkward
because your lips were softer than mine
and it kinda felt like kissing a girl.

I’d like to tell you that I’m sorry,
but you see,
I’m not.

Not really.

Anyway, the joke’s on me, right?
Because you’re successful
and powerful
and all those other cliches
we were going to grow up to be
and I wear “yoga” pants in public
and I usually have snot or icing
or something on my sleeve from my kid
and I think flip-flops are real shoes
and socially acceptable everywhere
and I only brush my hair for work.

Anyway, I guess I wrote to say
I’m not sorry it didn’t work out
and that I realized today
that I only think of you in times of tragedy
because sleeping with you was tragic.